What Good is a Relationship if it's Built on an Unstable Foundation??

What Good is a RELATIONSHIP if it's Built on an Unstable FOUNDATION??


FOUNDATION - The Basis or Groundwork of Anything. The Natural or Prepared ground or base on which some Structure rests.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. As someone who Desires to be in a Healthy Relationship where my partner and I decide our own Boundaries, Rules, Freedoms etc.. and Not What Society has dictated what our Relationship should be.

That being said, What does one base their Foundation on?? Morality?, Religion?, Like Interests?.. I know for me once you get past Physical Attraction which I will not deny is Very Important.  COMMUNICATION is Numero Uno on the list!!

COMMUNICATION - The Imparting or Interchange of Thoughts, Opinions,  or Information by Speech, Writing, Physical Expression or Signs.

I've taken a lot of time to understand Communication as a Whole and My "This is the way I Communicate" vs. "This is the way I want to Communicate" and I noticed in the beginning stages of this Journey my Communication was not very Effective to say the least. I would not address uncomfortable issues directly, I would let them fester until ultimately they erupted.  I would get Defensive if I felt like I was being Judged or Attacked. I would try to One up the person just to be Right. My Body Language was closed off. I wanted people to understand my thoughts even though I didn't understand them myself. I wanted a Mind Reader in essence, lol. You name it I did it.

Once I assessed where I was and Accepted it, took Responsibility for it, Forgave myself for the Hurt I caused with my Communication and Forgave others for the Perceived Hurt that I believed their Communication caused me. I asked myself "What kind if Communicator do I want to be?" I want to be Open, Honest, Vulnerable, Dependable, Understanding, Interested as opposed to Interesting, A Listener,  A Speaker from the Heart.. The list went on and on!!

The books that helped me the most are "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz,  "Aspire" by Kevin Hall,  "Just Listen" by Mark Goulston and "The definitive book of Body Language" by Barbara Pease.

Then as we all know its the application of the information that is key. "Knowing is not enough, we must Apply. Willing is Not Enough we Must Do" BRUCE LEE.

The trial and error,  The response from those I spoke to and How Good it made me Feel to have fulfilling conversations where both Parties "Feel-Felt".

Now I Understand that not everyone will Communicate the same way, we all have different experiences both physical, emotional and environmental.  That being said there is a match for everyone of us, not the Perfect person but the Perfect person for us!

I don't believe you should alter or modify your behavior to appease your partner unless it is Truly something you desire for Yourself! At this point in my life I'm not willing to start a Relationship in a shaky Foundation and then try to Fix it later! Been there done that, lol.. Please don't Confuse Foundation with House on top of it either. It could be a Shack sitting on a Solid Foundation as opposed to a Mansion built on Quicksand.

With all that being said it is not a Judgement of another if you decide you prefer something different than what they offer. Just be Open and Honest about it Speaking with Love. Time waits for no one and Wasted Time is an even Bitter pill to swallow.

So I Encourage you to Figure out what FOUNDATION you will build your Relationship on. It's Well Worth the Time to Find out!

As Always, ME-WE!!

Brookyn Mclinn

LifeStrategyMeetup@gmail.com