Talk with My Nephew

What it do! What it do!

I Hope that you all had a Great weekend! I sure did..

Grab your veggie/fruit smoothie or coffee and sit back, I'm long winded on this one,lol.

Today I wanted to share an Experience I had yesterday with my nephew. I went to visit he and my brother where they work. He's picking up a trade and has an opportunity to work,learn from my brother(his father) at the same time. So as I'm sitting there watching him work, looking like a young apprentice finding his way, not totally sure of what he's doing but at the same time doing a good job, a since of pride came over me. This may seem like a small thing but my nephew hasn't always made the best choices in his young 20 something year old life. So to see him kind of finding his way made me feel good. Anyway he's done with his work and cleaning up to go, when my brother and a co-worker are giving him tips/advice on how to be better at what he's doing. I could tell he was listening but with some resistance as if he wasn't totally open about what was being said to him. I'm observing this and thinking are they picking up on this fact and would they change tactics to try to get him receive the info, which I might add is very helpful to his growth!. After about 5-10mins of them talking to him they begin to get frustrated and then he in turns gets frustrated and at this point the conversation is pointless because nothing is being accomplished. So I step  in with my Dalia lama a**,lol trying to calm the situation and tell my nephew that I would explain it to him later. And everyone is like no explain it to him now. I express that it would be pointless because every ones temperature was running high and that it was best to cool off first before continuing. I agree to meet my nephew later but first went to have a drink with my brother. The subject of my nephew came up and my brother began to get frustrated again and couldn't understand why his son wouldn't just take his advice because "He knows better and his son should just listen!". He began to compare him to his other children and "Why he couldn't listen like those children". I asked my brother if he's ever said to my nephew that he should be more like his siblings? and he said "Yes". I cringed a little on this inside because I KNOW my brother Loves and cares for his children and only wants the best for them. I asked my brother if he would be open to considering a couple things. He nodded yes. I asked him if he'd ever heard of "Bobby Knight" the famous college basketball coach known for his temper and his winning. He said yes, I said you know his style of coaching is in your face and rah rah!. He may grab a chair and throw it across the floor, snatch a player up and curse him out in public. I said he's been successful using this style, he's won 2 national championships this way. I asked if he'd heard of "Phil Jackson"? he looked at me like really? of course dummy,lol.. I said you know Phil's style was more open depending on the player he's dealing with. Michael,Kobe,Shaq or Dennis Rodman and he's won 11 championships that way. My brother agreed and began to see what I was getting at with dealing with my nephew. I said when you compare him to his siblings in front of him, although you mean well, in essence what you are saying is "he's not as good as them and who he is, is not good enough". I wish more parents understood that when they speak to their children this way. We should never compare children because subconsciously we are sending a message of "Not good enough" which  most time is not the intent.
My brother agreed but also kept saying my nephew is smarter than that and should be doing better and I said in your opinion! lol.. I said your job is to give him the information and if he doesn't use it, that's on him but he shouldn't be made to feel bad for not using it. I asked my brother when my nephew was a baby and learning to walk and stumbled and fell down while trying did "You get frustrated with him then?" my brother said of course not! I said exactly he is a baby when it comes to learning this new trade and he's learning to walk in it and he's stumbling and falling. And your job is just to guide him with a message that is motivated in love and make sure that he doesn't hurt himself just like when he was a baby learning to walk.. My brothers face lit up because it actually made sense to him. Although Its gonna take some time, it was definitely a big step in the right direction!. Yay for progress,lol.
Part 2 of this story is when I saw my nephew later that night, and he made a point to come up to me and ask me to explain to him what I said I would at his job. First I explained to him why I wanted to wait to talk about it and he totally understood letting cooler heads prevail. He said uncle I don't understand why they want me to do it the way they want me to. I said what does that entail?. He said they want to come to the shop when it first opens, and I end up sitting around all morning bored not making any money because whoever comes in gets worked on by the more experienced guys and I get the scraps. I barely make enough money to pay to have my space there. I have bills, I'm stressing.. I NEED to MAKE MONEY! I'm listening and I can see it means a lot to him to understand. His energy is definitely on the lower vibrating scale of anger, frustration and feeling powerless. I started with "You know I love you" and anything I say from this point forward is out of love. He agreed.. I said do you love what your doing for work? he said I like it alot. I said there in lies the issue. You don't put forth total effort because its not what you love to do. You get back exactly what you put into it. Its the "Law of Attraction", he perked up because it was clear he had never heard it this way. I said because if it was your PASSION to be there, you would be the first one there and the last one to leave soaking up all the information that those guys could offer you. I said I LOVE ACTING that's why Ive been so persistent with it and even at my age I'm constantly looking to grow and change perspectives on how I can be in better alignment with it! I said what do you LOVE to do? he said Coach kids at basketball, I said so why don't you? He said I was before I got into trouble and went to jail. I looked at him knowingly like and who is responsible for that? He pointed at himself. I said thank you for taking responsibility for your situation. You are RESPONSIBLE for your REALITY! Your unhappiness, your stress, your current condition is all done by you! its not your Dad, its not your Mother, its not society, its nothing but the CHOICES YOU make!.. He began to tear up because the realization of what he is doing was becoming clear. I said you need to change your perspective about your job, there are endless opportunities around you but you have to be attentive and alert to even see them. If you're pouting and disinterested your perspective will continue to conjure the reality you've been seeing. You never know the person you may meet could be a customer at your job that could ultimately get you closer to your passion! God doesn't make mistakes you are there for a reason, The Universe is working on your behalf! but you have to know that to even be open to it. There were more tears and more understanding, I told him once again I loved him and I'm here anytime you need to talk, that I had some books I needed him to read help this process, he agreed, we hugged and went back into the living room. His father looked at us and can see his son had been crying and asked about it. And my nephew with the most courage Ive seen him display said I'm trying Dad. My brother said yea but.. and I stopped him and said hear him out. My nephew expressed he didn't feel like his dad was being fair. The look on my brothers face I will never forget, he dropped his head in amazement as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. My brothers eyes teared up, my nephew was crying and my brother looked at his son and said "You know I just want the best for you? That's all Ive ever wanted.." my nephew nodded yes and they embraced and kissed. And it was the most touching moment Ive seen in sometime! A man, embracing his son, with LOVE, through the frustration, hurt and anger. We all sat down and continued listening to music and talking and cracking jokes.
I'm really excited for my brother and my nephew I believe a new chapter in their relationship is about to be written..
I'm sure I'm leaving out some details but I know you get the gist of it. The Moral to the story is once we can put down our EGO's (Edging God Out)(Wayne Dyer) and be open and honest without Judgment mountains will be moved.

Enjoy your Sunday.. Brooklyn Mclinn #onemansperspective