Thursday, July 10, 2014
Skeptics vs Cynics
I was asked not too long ago "Why do I think making a change is so Easy?" I said because, it is Whatever you say it is, if you say its Hard then its Hard, if you say its Easy then its Easy.. The person looked at me like "Yeah,Right!" Lol, I get that a lot these days.. I went on to explain that I believe its Easy because you have a Guarantee. The Guarantee is whatever I'm asking you to try, if it doesn't work for you, I Guarantee whatever you were doing before WILL be there waiting for you if you want to go back! LoL.. So if i'm asking you to focus on finding your Joy and you don't like it, MISERY will be waiting for your Return! That softens there position a little BUT most of us need more convincing, we are so use to the Limiting Beliefs we carry that to accept that we are Powerful Creators is beyond our Perception.
So being the Virgo I am I took it Further, I wanted to know why most of us believe what we do. The old me would have dismissed the person and walked away in frustration. But I realize something now..
SKEPTICS and CYNICS!!.. A Skeptic is someone who is Reluctant to believe.. A Cynic is someone who Refuses to believe.. A Skeptic once believed but was Disappointed. A Cynic once believed but was Hurt,Betrayed and Traumatized! However inside of All Skeptics and Most Cynics is a Deep Ache to BELIEVE Again but to do so Without the Fear of being Disappointed,Hurt,Betrayed or Traumatized Again.. This Realization Blew me away.. People can be reached but you have to be willing to get to the Root of why they don't believe, what was that incident that caused someone to become that way.. For me when I was in this space I could trace it back to my fathers passing and his business partners betrayal of our family..
His death was so Traumatizing, the Pain was so deep, It caused a deep sense of Abandonment that I vowed to never want to feel again. On top of that his business partner stole the business from my mother, So my Trust of People was ruined at the same time. I became Cynical and Skeptical..Looking back I see how choices I made, feelings I felt were tied to these beliefs that I carried.. That's why I stick to Change your Thoughts(Beliefs) , Change your Life! A Belief is only A Thought I keep Thinking!!
Where can you look into your Past Experiences and find what keeps you from Making Lasting Change.. What Beliefs are you carrying that Limit your Progression.. Think about it, I Promise you it's Worth it to Figure it out, So we can all Do what we came here to do which is To Follow Our Joy!!..
If you need assistance don't hesitate to reach out.. LifeStrategyMeetup@gmail.com
Brooklyn Mclinn
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
What Good is a Relationship if it's Built on an Unstable Foundation??
What Good is a RELATIONSHIP if it's Built on an Unstable FOUNDATION??
FOUNDATION - The Basis or Groundwork of Anything. The Natural or Prepared ground or base on which some Structure rests.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. As someone who Desires to be in a Healthy Relationship where my partner and I decide our own Boundaries, Rules, Freedoms etc.. and Not What Society has dictated what our Relationship should be.
That being said, What does one base their Foundation on?? Morality?, Religion?, Like Interests?.. I know for me once you get past Physical Attraction which I will not deny is Very Important. COMMUNICATION is Numero Uno on the list!!
COMMUNICATION - The Imparting or Interchange of Thoughts, Opinions, or Information by Speech, Writing, Physical Expression or Signs.
I've taken a lot of time to understand Communication as a Whole and My "This is the way I Communicate" vs. "This is the way I want to Communicate" and I noticed in the beginning stages of this Journey my Communication was not very Effective to say the least. I would not address uncomfortable issues directly, I would let them fester until ultimately they erupted. I would get Defensive if I felt like I was being Judged or Attacked. I would try to One up the person just to be Right. My Body Language was closed off. I wanted people to understand my thoughts even though I didn't understand them myself. I wanted a Mind Reader in essence, lol. You name it I did it.
Once I assessed where I was and Accepted it, took Responsibility for it, Forgave myself for the Hurt I caused with my Communication and Forgave others for the Perceived Hurt that I believed their Communication caused me. I asked myself "What kind if Communicator do I want to be?" I want to be Open, Honest, Vulnerable, Dependable, Understanding, Interested as opposed to Interesting, A Listener, A Speaker from the Heart.. The list went on and on!!
The books that helped me the most are "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz, "Aspire" by Kevin Hall, "Just Listen" by Mark Goulston and "The definitive book of Body Language" by Barbara Pease.
Then as we all know its the application of the information that is key. "Knowing is not enough, we must Apply. Willing is Not Enough we Must Do" BRUCE LEE.
The trial and error, The response from those I spoke to and How Good it made me Feel to have fulfilling conversations where both Parties "Feel-Felt".
Now I Understand that not everyone will Communicate the same way, we all have different experiences both physical, emotional and environmental. That being said there is a match for everyone of us, not the Perfect person but the Perfect person for us!
I don't believe you should alter or modify your behavior to appease your partner unless it is Truly something you desire for Yourself! At this point in my life I'm not willing to start a Relationship in a shaky Foundation and then try to Fix it later! Been there done that, lol.. Please don't Confuse Foundation with House on top of it either. It could be a Shack sitting on a Solid Foundation as opposed to a Mansion built on Quicksand.
With all that being said it is not a Judgement of another if you decide you prefer something different than what they offer. Just be Open and Honest about it Speaking with Love. Time waits for no one and Wasted Time is an even Bitter pill to swallow.
So I Encourage you to Figure out what FOUNDATION you will build your Relationship on. It's Well Worth the Time to Find out!
As Always, ME-WE!!
Brookyn Mclinn
LifeStrategyMeetup@gmail.com
FOUNDATION - The Basis or Groundwork of Anything. The Natural or Prepared ground or base on which some Structure rests.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. As someone who Desires to be in a Healthy Relationship where my partner and I decide our own Boundaries, Rules, Freedoms etc.. and Not What Society has dictated what our Relationship should be.
That being said, What does one base their Foundation on?? Morality?, Religion?, Like Interests?.. I know for me once you get past Physical Attraction which I will not deny is Very Important. COMMUNICATION is Numero Uno on the list!!
COMMUNICATION - The Imparting or Interchange of Thoughts, Opinions, or Information by Speech, Writing, Physical Expression or Signs.
I've taken a lot of time to understand Communication as a Whole and My "This is the way I Communicate" vs. "This is the way I want to Communicate" and I noticed in the beginning stages of this Journey my Communication was not very Effective to say the least. I would not address uncomfortable issues directly, I would let them fester until ultimately they erupted. I would get Defensive if I felt like I was being Judged or Attacked. I would try to One up the person just to be Right. My Body Language was closed off. I wanted people to understand my thoughts even though I didn't understand them myself. I wanted a Mind Reader in essence, lol. You name it I did it.
Once I assessed where I was and Accepted it, took Responsibility for it, Forgave myself for the Hurt I caused with my Communication and Forgave others for the Perceived Hurt that I believed their Communication caused me. I asked myself "What kind if Communicator do I want to be?" I want to be Open, Honest, Vulnerable, Dependable, Understanding, Interested as opposed to Interesting, A Listener, A Speaker from the Heart.. The list went on and on!!
The books that helped me the most are "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz, "Aspire" by Kevin Hall, "Just Listen" by Mark Goulston and "The definitive book of Body Language" by Barbara Pease.
Then as we all know its the application of the information that is key. "Knowing is not enough, we must Apply. Willing is Not Enough we Must Do" BRUCE LEE.
The trial and error, The response from those I spoke to and How Good it made me Feel to have fulfilling conversations where both Parties "Feel-Felt".
Now I Understand that not everyone will Communicate the same way, we all have different experiences both physical, emotional and environmental. That being said there is a match for everyone of us, not the Perfect person but the Perfect person for us!
I don't believe you should alter or modify your behavior to appease your partner unless it is Truly something you desire for Yourself! At this point in my life I'm not willing to start a Relationship in a shaky Foundation and then try to Fix it later! Been there done that, lol.. Please don't Confuse Foundation with House on top of it either. It could be a Shack sitting on a Solid Foundation as opposed to a Mansion built on Quicksand.
With all that being said it is not a Judgement of another if you decide you prefer something different than what they offer. Just be Open and Honest about it Speaking with Love. Time waits for no one and Wasted Time is an even Bitter pill to swallow.
So I Encourage you to Figure out what FOUNDATION you will build your Relationship on. It's Well Worth the Time to Find out!
As Always, ME-WE!!
Brookyn Mclinn
LifeStrategyMeetup@gmail.com
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